Archive for girls

Gilrs will be girls…won’t they?

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , , on April 19, 2010 by prekosifa

Last Sunday, I decided to take advantage of the first signs of summer and take a trip to the park with my son and his friend. The park was packed full of like minded souls taking advantage of the hot sun and my young charges were happily playing on the swings and throwing stones at each other when a commotion on the far side of the children’s area grabbed our attention.

A group of youths were the cause of the uproar and in the centre two teenage lads were trading blows like they were on Saturday Fight Night!, at least, I thought it was 2 boys. Upon closer inspection I realised that one of the ‘boys’ was in fact a girl, but she was giving it all she got. The fight was split up by one of her friends and she took the opportunity to spit in the face of her male aggressor, before being urged to go in the other direction. The excitement over, everybody got back to what they were doing and pretty soon all was forgotten.

Had I just witnessed the new face of feminity?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not the kind of person that believes that women belong in the kitchen, or indeed that there is a particular way in which men and women should act, but what I have noticed lately is a shift in the way that some females behave. Girls now are following in the footsteps of their male classroom counterparts when it comes to violence and straightforwardness. The rise of the ‘pornification’ of women in the media, has been matched by the rise of the laddette. The beer swilling, foul mouthed females who lurk until closing time in bars and clubs around the City, always ready to down a pint or two as quickly as possible and too eager to lay you out flat on your back if you say the wrong thing or stare for too long in their direction.

Just what is going on?

But maybe I am being unfair. Am I basing my opinion on what a woman should act like on an age old stereotype put in place by men way before my time? Am I indeed sexist in my approach and beliefs that it is normal for a woman to act demure and ‘princessly’, not being expected to paint a fence or change the wheel of a car, but will always look better in an apron or dressed to the nines in clothes created more for the male gaze than for any type of physical practicality? I admit that I came up in this male dominated world therefore hold some male dominated views and yet there still seemed something wrong with seeing a girl trade blows against a boy. In my opinion the boy should have known better, if that had been my son hitting a girl, I would have been more than disappointed. (But then again, if a girl was acting like a boy and started a fight against my son, I can’t say wholeheartedly that I would be angry with him if he gave her a bitch-slap!) .

You see to me if you act in a certain way, then you can’t really blame anyone for treating you in a certain way. It may just be that this rise in more masculine femininity has come on the back of a more feminine masculinity. Men are spending more and more on cosmetics and stuff to make you look and smell pretty than anytime before in history. Now, its certainly not the first time that men have dared to care for their appearance but the last time it wasn’t met by an equal shift by women in the opposite direction. In the past, when women were held further down than they are today, men were allowed to play whatever roles they wanted to, often donning ridiculous wigs, and horrific makeup, and looking like 17th century pimps! Today things seem to be changing but unfortunately the good is mixed with the not so good, encompassing behaviour like I witnessed in the park.

Logically thinking I suppose what we should see is a middle line where men and women act more or less the same, where women can stand on equal terms with a man, receiving an equal amount of acknowledgement. Maybe that is the effect of a changing world, maybe this is what this world needs to redress the huge imbalance that has occurred since time immemorial and so perhaps, maybe we are just going to have to get used to it. Now, I don’t think that we will see a blanket transformation of harder female types appearing on the horizon like zombies out of a Dario Argento film, it will be more a gradual thing taken up only by those who are eager to do so.

And so, as long as there are women out there happy to play the ‘stereotype’ that I have come to know and love, everything, in my world at least, will be copasetic!


The Dating Game?

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 4, 2010 by prekosifa

I went to a club on New Years Eve. I don’t usually do the whole club thing anymore and to be honest I was pretty much expecting it to be a washout with overpriced entry, overpriced drinks and hundreds of people overly drunk and getting on my nerves. Not that I am super cynical. It’s just that I know how these things always end up. My only saving grace was one of my Christmas presents, a book called ‘The Definitive Book of Body Language’ which I had read cover to cover already. When shit got boring I hoped that my new knowledge of non verbal skills would provide some alternative entertainment for the evening.


When my partner and I walked into the club together, we were noticed by everyone. The other couples checked us out first, looking for similarities or reasons to dislike us. I noticed a couple of ‘circlers’ attempting to take a closer look. Luckily, my partner knew a few people in their and so we had ‘nominees’ striking up conversations, looking for info about our origins and length of stay. All the while our perceived threat level was being established. This behaviour lasted for about 30 mins, until another unfamiliar couple entered the club!


When we found our spot, the area where we would be chilling out for the evening, the activity didn’t stop. Singles were drawn to us like predators in the wild, sniffing out the availability and competition level of either of us. The Female singles followed a standard procedure. First they looked for recognition. Within the first few minutes we were a party to the ‘walk past’, where women and men of all shapes and sizes found it necessary to walk as close to us as was physically possible. This was professional flirting at its most direct, and its aim was to be seen.

After the ‘walk past’, there were some women who decided to flirt from afar, attempting to gain eye contact with me, knowing they could be seen by my partner. This was the female single asserting her position, her dominance and her imposing threat to my status quo. My partners’ attempts to block these feeble attempts only worked in close up. She slowly paced around me, establishing her territory quickly dealing with some amateur flirters who soon found no success at trying to penetrate this inner sanctum.

The Male flirters went straight for the jugular and tried to challenge me head on. An old friend of my partner quickly introduced himself and used the basic territorial technique of the arm around the shoulder to establish dominance. I countered by allowing 4 mins of conversation before I cut in with a playful nudge in her lower back, and a jokey whisper in her ear. The message was clear and the threat had been neutralised!


While dancing my partner became the unsuspecting female victim of the Dance floor predator. These slimy predators are mainly men, (but sometimes big women), and look to cop a free feel by taking advantage of the rhythmic effects of the music, sidling up quietly behind their victim. This one was easily placated by a show of Alpha male dominance on my part and some female masculinity from my partner. Her daggered look was backed up by my ownership claim, a touch of her arm. The threat, usually ‘Lovers not fighters’, quickly shrank into another area of the darkened club. No harm. No foul!

When my girl went to use the bathroom, the women predators saw it as open season. I felt eyes on me, checking out my moves, a girl walked past me and brushed my back with her arm, I spun around just as another moved quickly in front of me. From the other side of the club I could feel eyes on me from the darkness. I felt like a Parisian city being bombed by the Luftwaffe. I knew the purpose of this behaviour was to get me interested, to see if I could be tempted away from my mate. When she returned I made sure I wasn’t doing the electric slide with the four scantily clad divorcees in the corner!


Part way through the night I went to get some drinks. The rules which applied now were different from the ones that applied when we first got here. Usually only one of the couple will go to the bar, more often than not the man, me. The bar trip took around 20 mins and my girl established her dominion by requesting a bottle of water, (even though she still had one). Her request gave me a purpose to go to the bar and more importantly, a reason to come back.

A predatory woman at the bar, upon hearing me order 2 drinks, knew straightaway that I was attached, but she was a die-hard who wasn’t giving up that easily. She moved quickly to establish communication by offering to pay for my drinks, the proverbial ice breaker. I declined with a smile and was thus tricked into a conversation. I knew time was of the essence and she did too. She had only the speed of the bartender, plus 2 or 3 minutes on top, to establish…something between us. Her aim was to waylay me as long as she could, knowing that my woman would soon be wondering where I was. Guys, do like I did, just get your drinks and get the hell out of there! (unless you are genuinely interested, in which case you have only moments to get the necessary details!)


A final trip to the toilets for my partner before we left had the predators outside hoping they had caught a ‘drifter’, (someone unhappy with her current beau and willing to hit anything else!). I think the only thing it managed to do was to have her realise what it was really like to be single in Club land today. She moved quickly to use the facilities and returned to my side, a little bit more grateful!

The night club experience is more than about looking god and more than enjoying the music. It is a battle ground and the rules of engagement are clear and understood. I thought raving was about the music when in fact it is about so much more. It is a David Attenborough wildlife program set to a soundtrack of soul, reggae and hip hop. You see how the game is played and the other players involved, and as soon as you enter the arena, the doors to the club, you are a part of the game. The bouncers are only ther eto make sure you play according to the house rules! Your only choice is whether you play willingly or not, your strategy for winning, being your decision.

Noticing all of this made me truly enjoy my night out because I realised that it wasn’t because of the music, which was good, or the company which was great. I enjoyed watching the people around me and I enjoyed playing the game behind it all, even the hard legs who hit on my girl when I went to get her coat, provided me with entertainment. They were just playing the game according to their rules.

I have found a new way to enjoy a night out and next New Years, I will be looking forward to much more of the same.


Posted in 1 with tags , , , , , , , on May 31, 2009 by prekosifa

What is it about summer that makes a man like me smile? Is it the hot sun shining down on me? Maybe it’s sipping on an ice cold beer? Or being able to be outside until late, just chilling in the warm evening air?

 summer time

Yep, definitely all of the above. The best thing? Being the red blooded alpha male that I am, it  has to be the opportunity summer presents for checking out the girls as they roll by in short skirts, vest tops and hot pants, summer dresses flowing and showing off their wares to all who dare to stare. And I dare to stare.

Today in London temperatures hit a wonderful high. I awoke to the sun streaming through my bedroom window. I smiled. I knew today would be a good day.

But there are rules to what you should and shouldn’t wear out on the streets of the big city. We can forgive so much but not everything. So please girls if you are going to go there with that short skirt, for the sake of all those involved please ensure you are ready. I don’t want hairy legs ruining my view. Nor do I want to see armpit hair on a woman wearing a vest. If you are going on parade ladies, do it right!

chic with mini

I see it every year, people – guys included, who are just not ready for summer. Lads, you cannot wear woolly hats when the temps hit the mid twenties, your head will sweat and sweating produces unpleasant aromas. You can’t wear your autumn jacket – I don’t care how much you paid for it. You will get hot. You will sweat and the smell will be unbearable.

Show off!

Show off!

Guys, I know some of you think you look cool in your well coordinated outfits. I know you think you can get away with a spring look but if the clothes are too thick you don’t look cool, you just look hot and I don’t appreciate feeling hot for you. There’s just something about seeing some overdressed geezer pretending he’s not uncomfortable that makes me uncomfortable.

You know what looks good in summer? As little as possible. That is the dress code for summer. Simple, but there are some exceptions which I have to address. 

I’m not saying you have to have a six pack but let’s be fair, the girls enjoy a bot of eye candy as well so if you’re pale as hell, cover up. If your gut hangs over you belt, cover up. Why is it that with the first sight of sunshine, some guys feel it necessary to strip to the waist and walk around like they look good? Guys, if you don’t have the body don’t show it off, it;s not fair to the girls. Pale white bodies, like ashy black bodies do not inspire anyone, trust me.

chic in bikiniAnother thing, girls if you are wearing something skimpy, it will catch the average male eye so don’t get mad when guys just stare at you all day. This is not about not seeing you as equal but simply about being human. If there is cleavage on show that’s where we are looking. If you are wearing a short skirt, we are looking for the money shot. That split second as you cross or uncross your legs, we get to find out if your mama raised you properly! No offense but this is England, the sight of flesh makes some of us lose our minds and like prepubescent kids on a school trip we cannot control our joy. Guys in particular will look to another male to qualify what has just been witnessed. We like to share our good fortune with whoever is there with us. Summer makes us all smile because how can you frown when surrounded by bare flesh?

The worst crime of all, are the people out there who insist on wearing spandex and lycra – you know who you are. Why? Do you know what I think when I see a girl in leggings on a hot day…thrush alert… and I keep well clear.

Don’t mistake me for a pervert or sexual deviant but the fact is most things in life cost money. We work hard to afford a place to live, food on the table and toys for our children, (or ourselves). We work at least 5 days a week and when the weekend comes summer bevvieswe spend a day sorting out stuff that we couldn’t do during the week. We should be enjoying life but many of us don’t actually get the chance to. So days like today are precious and what I call a free day. A day when you get to enjoy things…for free. Such days should not be taken lightly as they are a gift  from whichever God you may believe in. They give us the strength to carry on.


Will Smith – Summer Time