Men Vs Women

I got a new book this week by an author new to me. Its title called out from the busy aisles of WH Smiths and after a quick, smart and swift reduction appeal with the unsmiling manager, I added it to my burgeoning book collection.

Men In Love by Nancy Friday, purports to be about Men who love women, but on deeper investigation it goes beyond any Disney type clichés of love and gets to the root of the link between a mans love and a mans rage, which are seemingly inseparable and misunderstood emotions. The secrets come out in male fantasies, whether it is fuckin’ your female boss at work over her oak panelled desk or performing cunnilingus on a life sized Barbie doll in the middle of a snow covered cornfield! It seems that there is a reason behind all those fantasies and what they tell about us men, is remarkable.

By page two I was hooked and by the end of the first chapter very enlightened indeed, things just got curiouser and curiouser. What struck me as strange was the experience I got whilst reading it. This is a book of no holds barred male sexual fantasy and it felt weird reading it because it dawned on me just how physical and violent we men can get in our imaginary worlds. It was also nice to know that I am not the only one who has extreme thoughts. The author herself confessed that what she heard shocked and scared her, in most part because it was coming from a member of the opposite sex. Women talking in the same way somehow seemed okay for her to listen to. If men and women are similar in other ways but totally different with matters of the heart, what kind of co dependent world do we really live in? It is said that whilst men need women, women don’t need men. If so, isn’t it possible that this is the fear lurking behind every man in a relationship and something that because it can never be satisfied, manifest itself in a variety of ways. I can then easily see why that one motivating factor, for men to be loved and not to be left behind, could easily explain violence towards women, cheating and sordid sexual fantasy acts.

A female friend of mine believes that in part, men are jealous of women because we can never have children, and therefore never know what it is like to produce life, the most important thing in this world. At first I disagreed vehemently, more with the arrogant way in which these words were spoken than anything else, because it dawned on me that she was probably right. No we will never know what it feels like, but surely feeling sorry for ourselves in this psychological way makes no logical sense. Women will never know what it feels like to have a dick swinging between their legs, not a real one anyway! So ho hum!

We are not surprised to hear about a male sex offender, or a male pornographer, but when it is a woman, it is usually taken as being the exception to the rule. Could it be that more women are in ‘subordinate’ roles in the sex industries because they have a totally different view on sex itself. Can they detach easier than men can because their aim isn’t always control and domination. In fact, do women love easier for the exact same reasons?

The roles of men and women in society have always been separated, and the last few thousand years have seen more and more inventive ways for men to control women, only for women to come up with far more superior ways to win it back. Men can never win because in a way we are playing a totally different game, or at least the same game with different rules. Its like a tug of war, with the men are trying to pull the women into the ditch, the women are happy to go in the ditch, and know, before their male equivalents realise, that the same men will have to pull them out afterwards! Job done! It is both fair and unfair at the same time, uneven yet balanced because it can be argued that if men stopped trying so hard, there would be no need for the swift feminine counter attack. There would be no need for the woman’s role as has been moulded by society and therefore more crucially, no need for the mans dominant role. And where would we be without it?

So how does this need to dominate, that men have over women, manifest itself, and more importantly what happens when it cannot be satisfied? Men go crazy! We love women and yet hate them at the same time because of what they stand for. We don’t want to need you but we do and it drives us mental trying to control something that we know we will never be able to control, try as we might. It is in our nature to want the upper hand even if sexual fantasy almost always reverses this position, especially whilst wearing a gimp mask, but we still try.

But given all of this I am glad to be a man. Silly words maybe but honest to God, if I could go back and choose this time, I would pick male every time. I am clear that I am seeing through fog most of the time, but it is a look I have become accustomed to. I may get into the odd argument with an ex girlfriend, or woman in authority, but then that’s what makes life colourful and interesting. I like peeing standing up and carrying the heavy shopping bags and give respect where respect is due. So I am calling for a truce. Ladies, if you can hear me, go easy on the men in your life. Recognise that you have the advantage, all the knowledge and all the best seats so be happy with that.
Leave us to watch football, drink beer and wank over porn.

We know what its like to be you, (thanks to all the nagging we get), but do you know what its like to be us?


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