Lies…damned lies!

So, Tiger Woods is the latest superstar to make it on the list of the famous who have been caught out creepin’ on their partners. A few months ago it was David Letterman and who knows who will be next. The basis of all these indiscretions is lies damned lies. Tiger’s list is 12 and counting, how much deceit is necessary to get away with those types of figures?

Where does it all go wrong?

We are taught from a young age to tell the truth. We are told that honesty is always the best policy and that ‘liars liars have their pants on fire’, a scary image for a pre adolescent. Given all of this coaching from such a young age, it would be safe to assume that we must live in an honest world. But we don’t, because if we did then infidelity just wouldn’t happen, politicians could be trusted and conspiracy theories would have no truthful basis.

What is going on that on the one hand we are taught to tell the truth but on the other we are used to dealing with lies? Lies are so common place now that you can actually get into trouble for telling the truth.

Have you ever been asked by your partner ‘does my bum look big in this?’ If so, what did you answer? A small percentage out there I am guessing will be able to tell the truth and still get to sleep in the marital bed afterwards, the majority, the ones with the smarts will lie, a little lie, but a lie nonetheless. I have seen girls in clubs that look terrible, bad hair, bad dress, bad everything and yet they are surrounded by their so called friends. I’d ask myself ‘why did none of them speak up?’

Just what is it about telling the truth that people find so damn hard to do.

A few years ago when I worked in an office, we had a cleaner who had terrible body odour. This brotha stank! In an office of sixty plus workers, no one wanted to have to tell him the truth. So what we were left with was a load of staff who all ‘had to pop out for a cig’ at 5.30pm every day, for 20 mins!

Could it be that deep down we hate to hurt people? I can see how that could happen because there is a horrible feeling that you get in your stomach when you have to tell someone something that they really don’t see. Or could it be that we secretly enjoy someone else’s misfortune and would sooner that they are laughed at, rather than us, a Freudian thing that says we only care about ourselves. Then it would stand to reason that a way of protecting ourselves is by putting any ‘badness’ onto somebody else.

We even differentiate between lies. Lies that hurt and destroy are separated from white lies that protect and care and we convince ourselves that this is okay to do. I was actually told in school that it is okay to tell a little lie if it stops someone from being hurt but isn’t a little lie today, just a bigger lie tomorrow and the biggest lie in the future.

Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
Sir Walter Scott, Marmion, Canto vi. Stanza 17.
Scottish author & novelist (1771 – 1832)

If you have a population of people expecting a lie isn’t it safe to say that you may as well assume everything is a lie and then you can’t get hurt? Or is that quite sad? Otherwise if you are not expecting a lie and you are then lied to, the pain will be all the more piercing because of the false expectation.

So I get it, lying is a necessary part of society and something that we all sign up to. We lie to protect, we lie to get away with things, we lie because we can. If someone gets hurt, so what, better them than us, right?

This is why Tiger Woods is in the situation he has found himself in this week. The rest of his golfing buddies probably knew what was going on and they withheld this lie, either to protect their boy, or to protect his wife from being hurt, or to protect themselves. Who knows, who cares and who really gives a fuck?

The sad thing about all this is that there is an age when you always tell the truth and believe everything you hear, no matter how crazy. My son is at that age now and I will watch him as he gets to the point when he realises that people tell fibs. When he gets to this point I will be sad because that will be the day when his innocence is truly lost.

So, I guess I am advocating a society where everyone tells the truth. That would be great wouldn’t it? Can you imagine?

Wife
‘Honey does my ass look big in this?’

Husband
‘Hell yeah!’

Wife
‘Okay, I guess I’ll just wear something else, thanks for your honesty, baby’

Can you see that happening?

Nah, neither can I

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