Topics they say you shouldn’t talk about on a first date – that you really should!

Ex Partners

You should be talking about your exes. You should want to know if the girl you are having dinner with has a pattern, a type of man she goes for. It might not matter if she is into suits and you are an accountant, but what if the last three of her exes ended up in prison for drug smuggling! You might find that interesting to say the least. On a first date we go in armed to the teeth with our history, we wear it like a garment and it shapes our opinions on life and therefore our conversations. The person in front of you represents so much more than the mere form that is being presented. It may be useful to know all about the ex partners and loves-that could-have-been because it may tell you something more about this person you are choosing to spend some quality time with. It may also warn you in advance that this may not be the one for you.

Religion

Why? Isn’t religion an important part of society. The majority of us claim allegiance to some religion or other whether it be catholic, church of England, Jewish, Hindu or the multitude of other lesser denominations and variants, and it matters because it appears to be something that is important to us. Now let’s face it, if you are into the guy sitting opposite you and want to see him again why would you hide something so important to you, or want him to hide this about himself? At the end of the day if you are religious and he/she isn’t, how long do you think the relationship will last anyway? If you do find the urge to argue about why your religion is better than his/hers two things can happen. You find a greater understanding and actually accept the others persons viewpoint, concluding that an opinion is just that, an opinion. Or you go for each others throats and publicly beat the shit out of each other, probably not the best basis for a long lasting relationship anyway.

Politics

Why? Politics are a part of society that we cannot hide away from. Some people may be staunch conservatives or democrats, others are not really that arsed, realising that all parties, except the extreme ones, are pretty much the same anyway. You may not want to introduce the liberal radical partner of your dreams to your upper class conservative family but more embarrassing could be to avoid the topic from the start, unleash this new person on your friends and family over a here’s-my-new-partner dinner, only to find out then that he harbours erotic dreams of running a new communist state and can’t wait to tell everyone about his radical plans for social reform, basing his ideas on Albania of the 1950’s! Arguing about politics is again like arguing about religion, you either agree or disagree. If you are that bothered, then isn’t it better to know from the start of the relationship?

Crazy Relatives

So what if your cousin Johnny is doing 6 months inside for ‘bothering’ sheep? What’s the problem if your elderly Aunt Lucy thinks she is Lady Godiva and regularly hauls her naked wrinkles through the local village on her vintage Raleigh Chopper? Does it really matter? These topics are conversation gold and can turn a boring date into one to remember. We can all see the funny side of things and sometimes it is good to laugh at people, let’s be honest. Embarrassment shouldn’t be an issue and the truth is going to come out sooner or later anyway.

Criminal past

It is important to fess up for 2 reasons. First, your date may still get the urge to mug people whenever presented with the opportunity, and second, it may be nice to know if the person you are on a date with has murdered his/her past lover! You may see that information as a material fact. Being honest about yourself is always important and if you have done something unsavoury, just spill it. You may be proud of the thousands you stole in bank raids across the city, or of the excellent quality of the drugs you used to sell to under age school kids, so let true love navigate its way through these murky avenues. Some women just love a bad boy and I know some guys out there love the idea of a ‘bad-girl’ in prison jim-jams!

Future Plans

The mistake that many of us make is to limit conversation about the past and the present when the future is so much more interesting. You may want to get married in a pink dress, so why not tell it? Why not let your date hear it all so they can form an opinion and decide whether or not to stay for the Second Act. If you are the ‘future plan making type’ of person, then just be yourself. If the person sitting opposite you can’t take it, then what have you really lost except for a few wasted weeks, perhaps months, of getting to know someone who doesn’t have the ability to plan farther than the next episode of Eastenders!

Topics your date is not interested in

I say talk about everything. Find out why this person isn’t interested in the mating habits of the blue spotted vole, or needlework for people with no thumbs and only wants to talk about Football and Darts! I have always believed that you don’t really know if you dislike something until you have tried it. Talk about everything and see how far it takes you. You may be surprised at what you find out and you will definitely know the range of topics that are welcome and whether this person has the breadth of interests that you find attractive.

Of course, these rules only apply to those people out there looking for something deep and meaningful. Those of you just looking for some sweaty, satisfying, meaningless sex to itch that scratch you’ve been having need not follow them, at all.

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