5 reasons you didn’t get a second date

1. YOU LIED

On the first date you lied about something – your beliefs, relationship history or both. You thought you did a good job but it’s possible that your fabrication took a good bite of your ass and credibility during the date or by the time your target got home. A friend of mine decided that a good way to get a girl in a club was to pretend he was deaf (yes this is a true story!) He got the girl’s attention alright…that is until she busted his lie when one of his boys called out to him and he turned around. Needless to say my friend didn’t get to a second date.

Lies don’t work because the truth always comes out – no matter how intricate or meticulous you think you’ve been in crafting a totally believable story – believe me I’ve tried it and paid the price.

2. YOU WORE SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE

On that first date you wore something that you were not comfortable in. You’re normally a jeans n t-shirt type but thought you’d step it up a bit to impress your date. Ladies, adding 6inch killer heels to your 5ft 2inch stature to look sexier might seem like a good idea. After an hour of tottering around trying to look cute, your longer, sexier legs won’t look so enticing with you complaining and showing more interest in finding somewhere to sit than in your date.

A good first date is one where you are yourself and comfortable in your own skin and shoes! You are what you wear and if you wear something you are not used to you’ll ruin a perfectly good date with an avoidable wardrobe malfunction.

3. YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE FUNNY

You told the one about the priest, the bishop and the call girl!  Humour is a very subjective thing and until you know someone, any risqué jokes with profane punch lines are to be avoided at all costs. Now I get that you think your mother-in-law jokes are funny but your date might find them plain offensive, especially as they may one day pertain to her mother!

True some people have the gift of making us laugh and that’s great but most of us don’t so where humour is concerned on a first date, err on the side of caution or play it safe with an ice breaker like I used to be a werewolf….but I’m alright nooooooooooooooowwwww!!! That one still kills me. That’s funny right? No?

4. YOU HAD HIGH EXPECTATIONS

On that first date you expected way too much. Don’t expect anything. You walked in with your fantasy of your date naked on a bed with a bow around her neck and a packet of condoms neatly tucked into her ample cleavage… and before you knew it you were saying all the wrong things, looking at all the wrong places and looking like you’d gone to Benny Hill’s school of courting – not good. You got touchy feely a little too soon. Went in for that kiss when she was just stretching her neck and made a bad joke about your longevity in the sack (see above). You were so sure of yourself that you already had plans for breakfast, only your date was through with you before you’d even ordered dessert!

Just chill,  enjoy the date and whatever is supposed to happen will come naturally. People tend to give more when they don’t feel pressured by the expectations of others.

5. YOU MADE THE OTHER PERSON UNCOMFORTABLE

You argued with the waiter about the soup then refused to leave a tip, you argued with the cashier at the theatre about the price of the tickets and then quibbled with the cloakroom attendant about the price of holding your date’s coat! You commented on the interracial couple seated at the table next to yours. You let your road rage get the better of you then abused the valet parking guy over a scratch that was probably already there. You are so intent on proving that you are right about any and everything that you end up looking like an obnoxious know-it-all. No-one likes a show off!

Don’t embarrass your date and yourself by trying to score points especially at the expense of other people. How you treat the waiter, valet or other service staff says a lot about you as a person and your date is watching. Just go with the flow and instead of trying to score cool points take the time to listen and let your date see your best side.

Join the conversation – leave a comment.

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