Is chivalry dead or just not required anymore?

Growing up I remember one of the biggest ordeals I had to face was asking a girl out. I believed in opening a door for a girl, watching my language when in female company, always being polite when meeting their parents and trying my best to make a good impression.

I grew up listening to motown and watching old Hollywood classics where true love always triumphed and the good guy got the girl. Love was a big issue and treating a female in the right way was a big deal and a man’s priority.

Things, it seems, have changed. Last week a girl I know asked me out. As much as I liked the attention and the sincerity behind it I couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed because it seemed the final line had been crossed. Wasn’t I meant to do the asking?

Don’t get me wrong, I was very flattered but something didn’t sit well with me about the whole episode. It kind of threw me off guard and left me with a sinking feeling. I had lost control of the situation and I found myself thinking forward about how this reversal of roles at the offset could influence the relationship. Would I be powerless or would it be irrelevant to how things progressed? I took my quest to the streets (well some of my closest friends at least) to see how the boys felt about women hitting on them.

Women seem hungry these days, came one reply. They’re just going out for theirs, quipped another guy. I know a lot of them are driving nice rides, have good jobs and are living a life that was strictly a man’s world for a long time but with it they also seem to have adopted some distinctly male characteristics. It shows itself mostly in clubs or other social settings. There’s a hint of aggression, especially towards other women. Whatever happened to the gentle touch?

More importantly, what does this new breed of alpha female mean for good old fashioned chivalry? Since women appear to have taken control from the boardroom to the bedroom, maybe chivalry is no longer required of us men. Of course there are those of us that still want to practice it but it could be that we’re stuck in the past. Heck, the way some women work out they should be opening the door for us anyway!

It seems to me that you no longer need chivalry to ‘get the girl.’ It’s not expected and I guess that means it isn’t necessary because women are not sitting around waiting for men to ask them out. They go out in packs now, ready to hunt for their prey.

The world has changed and along with it the roles of men and women. A lot of us are happy about that, some of us think we are happy and are truly not. Let’s be honest, we worry about what else is going to have to change. The whole male role is under threat and maybe in a few years we won’t even know what it means to be masculine.

As the dividing line between what is male and female gets thinner, it has also changed the social norms that we’ve always taken for granted. Not only do women ask men out now but some have even become laddish and predatory about it, leaving us boys feeling like disposable sex objects!

One night stands, once the domain of men with a taste for loose women, are now common place and can be had every night of the week with highly strung oversexed ladettes. Am I complaining? Not as an individual who can appreciate the obvious benefits of this new world order but as part of the collective male of the species, I am a bit concerned.

No one really likes change anyway because we don’t know what to do with it or how to act around it. I guess all we can do is go with the flow and see where it all ends up. As the Temptations sang in the 80s ‘I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t believe that chivalry is dead.’ Two decades is a long time though and maybe those lyrics don’t mean much anymore and I’m just part of a dying breed in the new millennium.

What do you think? Have women become too independent for their own good? Join the conversation and post a comment.

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11 Responses to “Is chivalry dead or just not required anymore?”

  1. REGARDLESS of it being dead or not, men need to hold to some standard regardless of a female’s standing in society. Granted, if she or they) do not want that respect, then chivalry is still required that we respectfully take the step back as well.

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